Parents as Advocates
An advocate fights for the rights of someone else, typically someone who is not able to speak for themselves. Children, especially children with special needs, are not always able to speak for themselves. They need an advocate, someone to make sure their needs are understood and met. That is one of the more important roles of a parent.
Some parents feel intimidated by education professionals, especially if the parents don’t have an advanced degree or even any post high training. They may feel that the teacher is the expert and be reluctant to interfere with or question what is happening in the classroom.
While the teacher may have the professional training, parents are the experts on their child. They have been with them since birth and are best qualified to understand their needs and how they learn. Parents come from a perspective of what is best for their child, while teachers come from a perspective of what is best for the classroom. Parents will be involved in the life of their child for a lifetime, while teachers will only be involved for a few months or possibly years.
Parents need to contribute the valuable knowledge they have gleaned from raising their child to the educational process. Their child’s teacher will be better equipped to help their child progress academically. Parents need to form a synergistic team with the education professionals in their children’s lives, with the parents sharing their knowledge of the student and the professionals sharing their knowledge of the learning process. Children, especially the ones who struggle, will thrive in this setting.
If the parents are not able to establish this teamwork with the teachers and administrators at their child’s school, then they need to be an advocate for their child. They may need to respectfully disagree with the recommendations that are made. They may also need to firmly insist that necessary accommodations are provided for their child. They may need to persistently repeat their requests to different personnel several times. There may be times when they need to thank education professionals for their well-intended advice and then proceed to do what they know is best for their child. Just because someone with an advanced degree gives you advice, doesn’t mean you are required to take it.
Monica’s Story
There is an excellent example of this in the story of my friend, Monica and her oldest son, Cory. Cory was a bright child, but he began to struggle with school when he was in the 4th grade. He worked hard and Monica spent hours tutoring him after school, but he still received failing grades. This situation continued until he was 14.
Monica observed that his level of academic success varied from one teacher to another. He could retain information well with one teacher, but fail miserably with the next. Monica felt great concern for him when he would express his frustration with his low grades after having worked so hard and doing his best.
Monica also felt frustration from the lack of support she felt she was getting from her son’s school. She noted that there were several foreign exchange students in her son’s school and they all received more one on one support and assistance than her son did. There was no effort made to determine the cause of his difficulties or how he could improve his academic performance. The only solution her son’s school had for him was to recommend special education.
Monica knew this was not the right solution for her son. She knew the special education label would only damage his already low self-esteem. She feared it would cause him to feel despair and possibly even lead to suicidal ideation. She knew he was intelligent enough to do well in school and felt there was some disconnect that had not yet been identified. She knew how badly he wanted to do well in school and felt certain that he would once his difficulty was identified and treated.
She continued to decline the offers of special education until the day she found herself cornered in an administrator’s office where several school officials were loudly insisting that she had to sign the paperwork to place her son in special education. She felt trapped and signed the permission form against her better judgement. She couldn’t sleep that night and deeply regretted her action. She left home the next morning early enough to allow time to stop by the school on her way to work and retract her permission. She made it clear that she had signed the permission under duress. She did not want her son placed in special education and she wanted the permission form destroyed.
The principal expressed his disagreement with her decision. He warned her that the school would not be able to help her son pass his classes without special ed services, but he honored her request and the papers were shredded. Monica knew she had to find a better solution for her son. She spent time researching and praying for that solution.
Finding a Solution
Some time later, while waiting for her husband at the gym, Monica happened to pick up a magazine and read an article about Learning Technics. Founded in 1988, Learning Technics has a 93% success rate for their clients using their patented Physio Neuro Training program. Monica knew this was the solution for her son.
She took him in to be evaluated. The fees were more than she could easily afford, but she paid them and brought her son in for treatment. It was soon identified that her son was deficit in auditory processing. He was only able to understand verbal instructions within a certain range of pitch. This explained why he performed better academically with some teachers than others.
Cory completed the recommended treatment, which resulted in a permanent change. Cory was so excited to finally be able to do well in school! Whereas grade reports had brought dread and misery before, he was now gleefully calling his friends to report his test scores. This boosted his self image and contributed to his confidence in pursuing his dreams and believing in himself.
Monica is convinced this program changed his life. She sees a huge span in where Cory is now and where he would have been if she hadn’t intervened. This was several years ago and Cory is thriving as a premed student. This is the result of having a mother who advocated for him.
You Can Make a Difference
Parents can make a difference in their child’s life when they relentlessly seek for solutions, call on a higher power, and make any sacrifices necessary to advocate for their child and get them the best education possible.
How have you been an advocate for your child? Share in the comments below. If you have questions on how you can advocate for your child, share those, too.