How to Improve Communication with Your Child

According to the Oxford University Press Dictionary, communication is “the imparting, sharing or exchanging of information by speaking, writing, or using some other medium.”  For families of children with special needs, this process is essential in several relationships.  The first and most important is with their child.

The philosopher Socrates said: “I know that I know nothing”. We as grownups often think we already know everything.  This is a dangerous trap to fall into.  Avoid it by continuing to keep on learning, especially from your child.  It is important to listen to your child.  Here are some activities to facilitate listening.

Silent Communication

1. Sit across from each other and practice looking each other into the eyes for about 5 min.  Your goal is to look each other into the eyes without having to speak.
2. Share what you learned and what you liked most about the exercise.

Simple Sentence

1. Sit across each other, saying an easy sentence like “I love dogs”.
2. Let your child repeat what you just said verbatim. Repeat until done easily and comfortable.
3. Switch roles. Repeat until done easily and comfortable.
4. Share what you learned and what you liked most about the exercise.

Complex Sentence

1. Sit across each other, saying a complex sentence like “I love dogs, because they are always happy and funny.”
2. Let your child understand what you like (in this case dogs), and why. In our example the child would answer: “What you like is dogs. You like dogs, because they are always happy and funny.”
3. Repeat until done easily and comfortable.
4. Switch roles. Repeat until done easily and comfortable.
5. Share what you learned and what you liked most about the exercise.

If your child still isn’t communicating with you as you would like, build up trust by doing things together. Focus on activities that involve solving a neutral problem together, planning a trip, or playing games. Make it an activity that is not a problem area, like getting ready for school. Make it fun. Form a team with your child in a safe, fun activity that places you as equal team members. This will also model effective communication skills for your child. They will improve in their ability to communicate more effectively with their peers and other adults.