Family meetings are an effective way to manage the complexities of family life and ensure each member’s needs are met. Some families begin this practice before the first child is born, while others decide to implement it when some of their children are in their teens. If you are introducing a new idea to older children, you will want to be prepared before you present the idea to have a better chance of gaining their cooperation. Make sure the adults are united before you suggest the plan to the children.
If you have a blended family, you may want to discuss who should present the idea. It may work out best to have each parent talk to their children separately to discuss any concerns before you meet with the whole group. You may want to meet with each child one on one. Consider the feelings and personalities of each family member. Complete whatever preparation is needed before the whole group meeting to ensure a positive reception.
When you are ready, arrange for the first meeting. You can begin by explaining why you want to initiate this new procedure. Explain how it will benefit each member of the family. Everyone likes to hear what’s in it for them. Make it fun. A favorite family treat should be served or fun activity planned for your first meeting. You may want to consider not bringing up any problems in the beginning. Just keep it positive and express your love and appreciation for each member of the family. You could recognize the strengths of each member and how they contribute to the family. Talk about the topics that will be discussed and be sure to mention the fun ones such as planning family vacations, scheduling use of the home for parties with friends, family menus, getting a dog or other family pet, and anything that you know your children will be interested in.
Make it clear that, as members of the family enjoying all the privileges of living in the home, they are expected to attend but can participate to the level they choose. Some members will want to comment on every topic, others may choose to remain silent. Calmly and objectively explain the requirements. For example, if one of the concerns to be addressed is use of the family car, then attendance at family meetings is a logical requirement for using the family car. The same could apply to use of the kitchen or any of the facilities in the home.
As a family, determine how often you will meet and when. Most families find weekly meetings to be the most effective. It is still often enough to address daily concerns, but not so often as to be burdensome. Pick a day and time when you know members of the family will most likely be home, such as early in the morning or later in the evening. You can come with suggestions on the best day and time, but be open to amendments. It will help you to establish the pattern of holding family meetings if everyone feels their needs were considered and their opinion was respected. Remember to listen as much, if not more than, you speak. This is the key to effective family communication.