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How do you view homework? Do you feel it’s important to your child’s academic success? Do you feel it’s an encroachment on his time outside of school? Does it create stress for your family? Or take up too much family time? Is it a source of contention in your home? Do you feel like homework benefits your child? Is it reinforcing their learning? Are they improving their academic success by doing homework? Or do you feel like it’s just busy work?
Whether your opinion is voiced or not, your child will pick up on your attitude about homework. There are arguably many benefits for homework, that it reinforces learning. It provides more practice than can be allotted in a school classroom setting. It provides the opportunity for independent work. The student can try these new concepts they have learned on their own to see if they’ve mastered them. However, it can also be a struggle. It can be a source of conflict in the family. In some cases, it results in a meltdown. Homework can impact the parent-child relationship, if it is a daily struggle, a power struggle or a source of contention.
So how do you get through homework without tears, without the arguing and fighting? Many parents have found it beneficial to have a specific time and place for homework. They designate a time when they sit down with their child and show interest in what they are learning in school. Maybe it’s an opportunity for one on one attention with your child, to use verbal praise, compliment them on what they’re doing. It is also very natural and logical to have some sort of positive reinforcement when the homework is over. Plan a logical activity that they enjoy, such as going outside to play or reading a book. It can be very beneficial to have a goal setting session with your child. Have some frank discussions about homework.
When children start out in the early elementary grades, they like that one on one attention. They like being reinforced for their new efforts and learning new skills. As they get older it becomes more challenging. It’s not so fun anymore. Listen to their concerns and their frustrations about homework. Acknowledge their efforts and then express your concerns and desires for your child, why you feel it is important and necessary that they complete their homework, why it’s important to you. There may be appropriate times for compromise, a frank discussion of what will it take to meet the goal. A goal the child has set himself will be much more meaningful and much more likely to be reached than the goal that you have set for them. Discuss the issue of homework together as a family and come up with a plan that all can agree with. Set some goals regarding how much will be done, when it will be completed, and what the rewards and consequences are. As with any other event in family life, remember to celebrate, even if it’s something as simple as cheering when they have completed 10 math problems.
Make sure you connect improvement in grades with successful completion of homework. If you feel that now he’s doing better in school because he’s been doing homework, make sure you comment on that. When you review his grades, tie in the time that he has spent on homework, how it has helped him, and how he’s improved his spelling or math skills or whatever because he has spent time practicing it.
What happens if you feel like there really is too much homework? Or that it’s not helpful? If you feel it just looks like busy work, just a stack of worksheets that don’t seem to have much meaning, what can you do about that? I would strongly recommend that you talk to your child’s teacher. Listen to understand the teacher’s goals and intentions, where they are going with it. Are they aware of just how much homework they are assigning? Take time to express your concerns about the homework. Make sure the teacher understands the impact it has on your child and your family life. Help the teacher understand your child’s unique needs. Maybe your child doesn’t benefit from a great deal of repetition. Ask for recommendations and make appropriate suggestions. Rather than completing worksheets, would be more effective if your child wrote the word several times, or used it in a sentence. It may be your child’s learning style just isn’t matching the instructional style in the homework. Ask your teacher for accommodations for your child. Explain that your focus is on what is best for your child, how he learns best, and what will help him feel good about himself. Your goal is to help him feel that he’s competent, that he’s succeeding. It is difficult to get through anything if you feel like you’re just being constantly reminded of your shortcomings and failings.
Discuss these issues with your child’s teacher. Hopefully, they will also be focused on what is in your child’s best interest, and they’ll be willing to adapt to make any changes necessary. If this is not the case, you might consider changing teachers or even schools. In some cases, the teacher is simply following through with the school’s policy. Maybe it’s an administrative decision directing the amount and nature of the homework. Remember this is your child you know what’s best for them, what will support their learning the best. If it’s in your child’s best interest and you find it may be necessary, don’t rule out changing teachers or even changing schools. Don’t lose focus of what matters most, the learning.
The quote, “I have never let school interfere with my education.” has been attributed to Mark Twain as early as 1907. However, it was another writer, Grant Allen, who wrote about this in 1894. Whoever takes the credit for this quote, it’s valid to remember school is not necessarily the same thing as education. School is just a vehicle to assist in the learning process. It’s the learning process that matters. This is what will stay with your child throughout his life. They will always be learning. You’re still learning, right? It’s the learning that is important. If you can teach your child to have a positive attitude about learning, it’s an opportunity. It’s exciting; it’s rewarding. Teach them to love learning, then everything else will fall into place. Homework can take its appropriate place in the overall scheme of learning. If it’s a benefit to learning, great! Be sure it is implemented. Make it a positive, rewarding time. Let your child feel your love for them, your pride in their progress. They are learning, improving their mind, and developing talents. That’s the important part. Teach them that love of learning, that thirst for knowledge, that zeal to become their best, to set lofty goals and to reach them with joy.