How do you view homework? Do you feel it’s important to your child’s academic success? Or do you feel it’s an encroachment on their time outside of school? Do you feel like homework benefits your child? Is it reinforcing their learning? Or is it a source of contention in your home? Are your children improving their academic success by doing homework? Or do you feel like it’s just busy work?
Homework can be beneficial. It provides more practice than can be allotted in a school classroom setting. It reinforces concepts taught and provides the opportunity for independent work. The student can try these new concepts they have learned on their own to see if they’ve mastered them. Parents are able to become more involved in their child’s learning through homework.
However, homework can also be a struggle. It can be a source of conflict in the family. In some cases, it results in a meltdown–for the child, parent or both. Homework can impact the parent-child relationship, if it is a daily struggle or a source of contention. So how do you get through homework without tears, without the arguing and fighting?
Time and Place
Many parents have found it helpful to have a specific time and place for homework. They designate a time when they sit down with their child and show interest in what they are learning in school. Maybe it’s an opportunity for one on one attention with your child, to use verbal praise, compliment them on what they’re doing. It is also natural to have some sort of positive reinforcement when the homework is completed. Plan an activity that they enjoy, such as going outside to play or reading a book.
Listen to Understand Concerns
As students transition into secondary school, homework becomes even more challenging. Listen to their concerns and their frustrations about homework. What looks like a simple task to you, may be overwhelming for your child. Acknowledge their efforts and then express your concerns and desires for your child, why you feel it is important and necessary that they complete their homework, why it’s important to you. It can be beneficial to have a goal setting session with your child. Have some frank discussions about homework.
Set Goals
A goal the child has set for themselves will be much more meaningful and much more likely to be reached than the goal that you have set for them. Discuss the issue of homework together as a family and come up with a plan that all can agree with. Set some goals regarding how much will be done, when it will be completed, and what the rewards and consequences are. There may be appropriate times for compromise, a frank discussion of what it will take to meet the goal. As with any other event in family life, remember to celebrate, even if it’s something as simple as cheering when they have completed 10 math problems.
Too Much Homework?
What if you feel like there really is too much homework? Or that it’s not helpful? If you feel it just looks like busy work, just a stack of worksheets that don’t seem to have much meaning, what can you do about that? I would strongly recommend that you talk to your child’s teacher. Listen to understand the teacher’s goals and intentions, where they are going with it. Are they aware of just how much homework they are assigning? Take time to express your concerns about the homework. Make sure the teacher understands the impact it has on your child and your family life. Help the teacher understand your child’s unique needs.
IEP Accommodations
It may be your child’s learning style just isn’t matching the instructional style in the homework. Your child may learn differently. The assignment that works well for the rest of the class may not work for them. Ask your teacher for accommodations for your child. And make sure they are recorded in your child’s IEP. Explain that your focus is on what is best for your child, how they learn best, and what will help them feel good about their efforts and progress. Your goal is to help your child feel that they are competent, that they’re succeeding. It is difficult to get through anything if you feel like you’re just being constantly reminded of your shortcomings and failings.
Love of Learning
Remember this is your child and you know what’s best for them. If you can teach your child to have a positive attitude about learning, the process becomes an opportunity. It’s exciting; it’s rewarding. Homework can take its appropriate place in the overall scheme of learning. If it’s a benefit to learning, great! Be sure it is implemented. If it isn’t helpful, get the accommodations that will work for your child. Make learning a positive, rewarding experience. Let your child feel your love for them, your pride in their progress. Teach them to love learning, to have a thirst for knowledge, a zeal to become their best, to set lofty goals and to reach them with joy.