Need support to make changes in your life? Regina Carey can help you do that. She shares her background and experience in this episode. Visit her website to learn more about her services.
Emmalou Penrod
I’m talking to Regina Carey today. And she is the founder of Carey On. She’s an empowerment consultant, a strength based life coach and passion instigator. Regina, welcome.
Regina Carey
Thank you, Emmalou. Good morning.
Emmalou Penrod
And I just can’t help but imagine. You must have led a really interesting life to have come to this. I really love the passion instigator, wow, bring it on.
Regina Carey
Yes, thank you. You know, I started as a special education teacher in the North Carolina School System. And I did not even realize this until many years later. But often special ed teachers last about three and a half years in the classroom, before they get burned out, or find themselves needing to move into something different.
Emmalou Penrod
I remember hearing that too. And special ed teacher, yay! I knew there was this connection.
Regina Carey
And, you know, what happened in my life is I had an opportunity to expand my education. And I got into a program at the University of North Carolina in Chapel Hill that was looking for special ed teachers who wanted to get their master’s degree. And it was completely supported by a grant. And I couldn’t say no, you know, that was an opportunity for me to get my masters and not only have it paid for, but to be in the throes of all the great work that was happening at the time at the University. This was right on the edge of when we were starting to use the internet. You know, this was a really great time to be in higher ed, and be right there and all the research going on.
Emmalou Penrod
Awesome, what an opportunity.
Regina Carey
Yeah, it really was. And then the way I got to where I was now is to continue to reinvent myself. And I followed my husband through his professional training as a veterinarian. And so we would have a child and move to the next state, have a child and move to the next state. And finally, I said no more kids, no more degrees, you’ve got to stop. But it landed us in Michigan, and we have been here for 20 plus years now. And all that while I was working in the field of special education, actively involved in the Learning Disabilities Association of America. I was even on the board for some time at that national level, and speaking to empower both students, and teachers and families, always advocating in the area of special education. And while I have worked with a variety, in fact, I started in high school working with severely mentally handicapped, I have worked with many disabilities, but really focused in on invisible disabilities, like learning disabilities and ADHD, anxiety, depression. I got my training as an ADD coach from Nancy Raty, who was one of the pioneers of ADD coaching. And that evolved in my work with, at the university level, with training teachers, and then I worked with students in the athletic department when my husband was going to vet school and I got to work with athletes with invisible disabilities. I mean, my career has been really diverse, in a beautiful way. I’ve had great opportunities to constantly shift. It also was a great way to prepare me for this pandemic. You know, having to change what we’re doing.
Emmalou Penrod
Oh, yes, I’m sure.
Regina Carey
And then, as I’m working with the universities, I started to realize that I was very interested in jumpstarting my own company, because I’ve been doing this work for so long. And at the university in academia, you spend a lot of time proving your worth and convincing people to hire you back. It’s semester after semester, you know, and so I took a huge leap about five years ago and launched out on my own; and I still look like a special ed teacher. I encompass all of the things. And in that sense, it’s been really challenging in my own work as a business owner, to hone my message in. Because you know, we want to work with everybody. We want to help everybody. And I’m really good at teaching just about anything. Give me something you want to learn about, I’ll figure out a way to bring it to you, even in this medium that we’re using now and in 2020. So I recognize the need to continue to inspire people during this time, and help them because lots of us look like we have invisible disabilities. We are having a hard time with our attention, with being creative, with staying on task, you know, even the transitional activities when we have to move from one thing to the next. It’s, frustrating. And it feels like we’re using up a lot of energy, and not getting very much done.
Emmalou Penrod
You know, another commonality I have seen with special ed and generalizing is believing in ourselves. That was my observation when I was at a high school is that the majority of high school students underestimated their value. And now I’m meeting business owners with the same problem.
Regina Carey
Exactly, exactly. And it really is, I’ve started to look at Maslow’s hierarchy. And thinking about how we have spent almost an entire year in those first two tiers, really, making sure we have our basic needs met, and that we’re feeling safe. And when you spend so much time at the bottom of that pyramid, that motivational pyramid, you know, no wonder we feel like we’ll never going to get to the top again.
Emmalou Penrod
We’re just surviving.
Regina Carey
Right. Right. But we will and we can, and everything that I teach and in the ways that I work with my clients, it’s reminding them of what they already know. And oftentimes, it’s simply, stop and get control of your breathing. Let’s just take a minute, and it literally takes a minute. And I have, in fact, people can access a breathing podcast. I have a 58 second breathing exercise on my podcast where you breathe in for four, hold for four counts and release for eight counts. And in that one minute you can reclaim the frontal lobe, get back to your executive functioning brain. And think about what’s important now? What do I need to do next? And really feel more in control that way. And it’s breath. It’s accessible to all of us. We don’t have to pay extra to get that kind of support.
Emmalou Penrod
A very simple tool that is so effective.
Regina Carey
Yes. Yes. And, and what I find too, though, is when I work with a client, as a coach, or as a passion instigator, when I’m inspiring audiences, if you have worked with me in the past, you know, it’s just like when we were in the classroom, we would see those students in our resource room year after year. And after working with that person, after working with me for a while, I am able to take a client and get them redirected, get them motivated, get them back on the right track. In a matter of 15 minutes, I really believe I can overhaul your overall in 15 minutes. And that is all it takes to get us feeling good and inspired. And like we can do this. We can do today. You know.
Emmalou Penrod
I love it. I absolutely love it. And it is so essential right now.
Regina Carey
Yes. Yes. If you knew if you knew today waking up, that if you took 15 minutes to connect with somebody to get inspired, whatever it is that you need to get into the day and have the most positive impact you can have. You know if you can do that in a short amount of time, why wouldn’t you take advantage of it? It doesn’t have to be me. It can be anybody that we feel inspired by that we look to for inspiration. And when we can remember to start with the positive. You know, so many people go to their phones first thing in the morning or they turn on the news. And they’re immediately filling themselves with toxicity, with demands. And with people saying things about their lives, and we need to start with ourselves, get a hold of our breath. You know, remember who we are in the world, instead of putting our energy into other people, other stories, other successes, we have to start with ourselves. And, you know, that’s really where the passion instigation came from. I help people remember what it is that they loved doing when they were young, that they just knew. . . What did you know you wanted to do when you were young? What did you enjoy doing when you were young?
Emmalou Penrod
I remember, from an early age, knowing I wanted to be a teacher. You know, lining up my dolls and giving them a lesson, and I knew that was me.
Regina Carey
Exactly, you know, we’d have that from a very young age. And, as we live life, and we have challenges, and we have things happen to us. It puts a damper on that light and then we start to do things for other people instead of what we truly know, in our hearts, is important to us.
Emmalou Penrod
Yeah, yeah. living up to others’ expectations. And, you know, as you were talking, I’m thinking, it’s all about energy. There’s positive energy and negative energy. And why not surround ourselves with people with positive energy?
Regina Carey
Absolutely, absolutely. And, you know, it’s important that we have at least one or two people like that in our lives that we know, we can consistently go to, and consistently feel better. Yeah, we want to do more of that, and I truly believe that a lot of my work is in the arm of women’s heart health. And I know moms out there, who are taking care of kids with disabilities, who are taking care of their families, who are running their own businesses at trying to support their families, who are exhausted, and they have put their own dreams and hopes and aspirations for their lives on the back burner. And they’re holding their breath. There are a lot of women out there, a lot of moms out there holding their breath, taking care of people and hoping that things are going to get better, feeling exhausted, but squeezing out just the last, you know, it’s like getting to the end of the tube of toothpaste. You know, they’re just squeezing out that last little bit. Because they know they can, and they know it’s for their family, for the person that they love, the people that they love. And in doing so what we have is a lot of women who are constricting, and it’s hard on their hearts. And what I help women do is really release, let go of the beliefs that they’re holding, the demands that they put on themselves. And when they release even just a little bit, Emmalou, I have found that things open up for them. They feel lighter. They’re happier. There are a lot of tears when that release happens. And it’s so important. It’s such important work. Because ultimately, when we let go, we open ourselves up to everything that the world has to offer us.
Emmalou Penrod
And it seems counterintuitive to mothers. You want to put your children first. They come first. But if you take it, and you mentioned you have 15 minutes, it doesn’t have to be long, you take some time for yourself, you become an even more effective mother.
Regina Carey
Absolutely, absolutely. And really knowing what your best time of day is, it seems like such a simple thing to identify. But so many of us, sit there in the evenings after everybody’s gone to bed and the house is finally quiet. And then we’re thinking about all the things we have to do or all the things that didn’t get done. And we might very well be a morning person. Our best energy is first thing in the morning. So nighttime is not the time to make the list. It’s not the time to look at your calendar or think about all the stuff that didn’t get done. Because again, that’s hard on us. It’s hard on our hearts. And so even to say, “I know I’m a morning person. I’m going to go to bed now. Everybody’s in bed. I’m going to do something really kind for myself for a few minutes and then I’m going to go to bed.”
Emmalou Penrod
I’m a morning person and my nightly ritual is to just reflect on everything. I’m grateful for everything that went right that day.
Regina Carey
Yes!
Emmalou Penrod
Just every day I’m celebrating.
Regina Carey
Gratitude journals are an amazing little trick. They don’t take very much time. In fact, I jotted down one note last night before I closed my eyes, but it is vital to make that a part of my, it’s a no excuse habit. Yes, be grateful.
Emmalou Penrod
I love it. I love it. Regina, you have so much to offer these parents. I think especially parents with children with special needs. They really need support. Yeah, parenting is hard in the best of circumstances. So how do people contact you?
Regina Carey
It’s simple enough. People can find me at https://reginacarey.com/ So that’s my name dot com. And, if you want to reach out and ask questions, coach me, Carey. That’s probably an easier one to remember coach, like, you know, that’s what I do in my work as a coach. And then me as in you and me, coach me, Carey. And that’s my last name coachmecarey@gmail.com. That’s an easy one. And if you have a question, if you’re struggling, reach out and email me and I will respond. Absolutely!
Emmalou Penrod
Awesome. Regina, it is a joy to talk to you. I love what you’re doing. You have value, great value.
Regina Carey
Thank you. And my intention is to leave the world better than I found it. And if that means supporting every single person who comes in front of me and asks for help. That is what I will do. If I can’t do it, I will resource it out. So, you know my promise to you is if you are willing to ask for the help you need, there’s always going to be someone there to lend a hand. I believe that
Emmalou Penrod
I believe it, too. Regina, thank you so much. You have a great day.
Regina Carey
You are so welcome, Emmalou, you do too. Thank you.