When you send your child to be educated by someone else, you form a partnership with them. It will benefit your child if it is a productive partnership, because that allows the focus to remain on the child, not the adults. Just as two divorced parents using their children as pawns to even the score in their battle of wills can do far more harm than good for their children, parents and teachers lost in an ego trip can do damage. The child’s needs and best interest are forgotten as the adults are occupied with proving who is right and who is wrong. In all your interactions with your child’s teachers and school personnel, keep the focus on your child. Form a unified team with educators and maintain that common goal.
Some parents feel intimidated by education professionals, especially if the parents don’t have an advanced degree or even any post high training. They may feel that the teacher is the expert and be reluctant to interfere with or question what is happening in the classroom. While the teacher may have the professional training, parents are the experts on their child. They have been with them since birth and are best qualified to understand their needs and how they learn. Parents come from a perspective of what is best for their child, while teachers come from a perspective of what is best for the classroom. Parents will be involved in the life of their child for a lifetime, while teachers will only be involved for a few months or possibly years. Parents need to contribute the valuable knowledge they have gleaned from raising their child to the educational process. Their child’s teacher will be better equipped to help their child progress academically. Parents form a synergistic team with the education professionals in their children’s lives, with the parents sharing their knowledge of the student and the professionals sharing their knowledge of the learning process. Their children, especially the ones who struggle, will thrive in this setting.
Attend the back to school night with all the positive energy you possess. Introduce yourself, express how excited you are to have them as your child’s teacher and volunteer to help. Most teachers welcome parent volunteers. If your work schedule does not allow you to come in during the school day, offer to take the laminated material home to cut out or some other task that can be done at home. Build a positive rapport with this person. Of course teachers want to help all of their students, but it is human nature to go above and beyond for the child of a friend. And if you offer to take off work to supervise a field trip, you will become this teacher’s best friend. Help the teacher out by bringing a half page written document of the most helpful information for working with your child. Most importantly, include your contact information, the best method of communication and make it clear that you welcome this communication to benefit your child.
I have seen miracles happen when a team consisting of concerned parents and caring professionals is formed. Students reach levels of academic achievement beyond what was expected. Classroom behavior improves. Students gain confidence and overcome challenges. Your child will achieve maximum progress when you and his school are working together in harmony. It is best for the student, best for the parent, and best for the school when they work together. It’s a win-win-win.
Methods of Communication
A telephone call is usually the most immediate and direct form of communication. It’s informal and the best approach for handling a few questions, need for clarification, or simple issues that need an immediate response. Most schools will have a time of day that teachers are available to take telephone calls from parents. The teacher may have a telephone in the classroom or can be reached by calling the central office. It is helpful to verify the best time to call the teacher. This should be easy to do as you establish a positive rapport or cooperative partnership with your child’s teacher. Lengthier conversations may need to be formally scheduled so that the time required to satisfactorily conclude the conversation is allotted.
Email is more formal and not as immediate as a telephone call; however, it can be written at your convenience and answered at the teacher’s convenience. It accommodates the time constraints of both parties. It provides the further benefit of written communication that can be referred to later. It allows for several questions to be asked and a more detailed response to be given. This may be an effective medium for more complex issues. Email will allow you time to frame your thoughts and concerns. You can reread and proofread before the questions and comments are sent, and the same is true for the educator in their response.
IEP and 504 Meetings
The most formal method of communication is a face-to-face meeting, such as an IEP or 504 meeting. This is most often scheduled in advance by the school, but can be requested by a parent. While these meetings can be helpful in aiding communication, reviewing progress and setting goals, some parents find them frustrating and stressful. They can have the feeling of walking late into a meeting after the major decisions have already been made. Some parents have experienced a resistance when they make suggestions or requests for their child. They may feel that their concerns are minimized or not even heard. In some cases, they may feel that they were allowed little if any input on decisions made regarding their child’s education.
This is not only unfortunate; it is not consistent with federal law. The Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA), reads, “Almost 30 years of research and experience has demonstrated that the education of children with disabilities can be made more effective by strengthening the role and responsibility of parents and ensuring that families of such children have meaningful opportunities to participate in the education of their children at school and at home.” Section 1400 c-5-B
Either at the meeting or before, you should be presented with a copy of your legal rights as the parent of a child with a disability. The agenda for the meeting should include your child’s specific needs, the services being offered, progress made, and the goals to measure progress. You should be given time to talk about your concerns or questions. If you aren’t, speak up and ask for the time. If there is anything you don’t understand, feel free to ask questions. Provide input on your experience as the parent. Share what you have learned about your child and what methods are most effective in supporting them. Make sure you understand and agree with the services the school is providing for your child. No change in the services provided for your child can be made without your involvement.
It is helpful to begin the meeting with a request to talk about your child’s strengths. Set the tone of the meeting on what they can do. After you have listed your child’s strengths, you can explain your vision for your child. Express appreciation for each member of the team. Everyone likes to feel appreciated and it creates an atmosphere of collaboration.
Keep the focus of the meeting on what is in the best interest of your child. Consider why you want the accommodations you are requesting. For example, if you want a one-on-one paraprofessional for your child to support them in reading class and the district tells you they can’t afford a one-on-one aide, you can initiate the discussion of other ways your child can get the needed support to advance in reading. There may be another way that will help your child as much as a one-on-one aide. It’s not about who wins or loses, it’s about what will be best for your child. Flexibility will be required of all team members.
You have an important role as the parent of a child with special needs. Your course will be much smoother if you get support. I am committed to helping parents in any way I can. Go to sped.solutions to schedule a free 30 minute no obligation consultation.