I help parents lower stress in under 15 minutes a day with one simple tool. Learn more here.
Welcome to In Support of Families. This is Emmalou Penrod, and today we’re talking about parents and stress. I think parents are under a tremendous amount of stress. Many of them are working full time while managing a marriage, raising children, and running a household. It can really be overwhelming! There are so many demands on your time. Your attention is being pulled in so many directions. It’s easy for it to become overwhelming. You need a vacation, but you can’t really afford to take a vacation, money-wise or time-wise. You have the pressures of your job, your family. It becomes necessary to get very creative in finding a way to take some time for yourself without feeling that you’re dropping any of the many balls that you’re trying to juggle, any of your commitments. So today I want to talk about how you can take a mini-break. It doesn’t have to be expensive; in fact, it can be free. And it doesn’t have to be time consuming. A mini-break takes less than thirty minutes, sometimes just five minutes or less. It’s something you can do quickly, easily, and inexpensively to rejuvenate yourself, to recharge your battery, or get yourself ready for the next challenge.
So, let’s list some different possibilities. One is to focus on that one room in your house, that one area that is causing problems, contentions, or stress. Take fifteen to twenty minutes to deep clean that area. This will be a small-time investment that can yield a lot of satisfaction. When you see that accomplishment, you have that one area of your life that’s greatly improved, that alone will reduce a lot of stress.
Of course, you take some time for your physical health; try a new sport. Try it a new activity you haven’t done before. Take a walk when you’re feeling overwhelmed. Maybe take the children on the walk with you. Take a break. Get out of the house for just a few minutes. Again, it doesn’t have to be long.
In many families you’re in the habit of doing the shopping on the way somewhere. After you pick up the children, you stop at the store and do some shopping then. Instead, take some time to go shopping alone. Make arrangements for someone else to watch the children for a few minutes and just enjoy shopping alone one time.
Sometimes, you just need to breathe. Maybe do some deep breathing exercises. Take some time to meditate.
Some parents have found it very beneficial to get up early in the morning before their children are awake and just enjoy a quiet home to themselves, just some quiet time that you can think your own thoughts. If early morning isn’t possible, try later at night, after the children are in bed. Find that time when you have some quiet space of your own.
If you have the chance, take a short nap–twenty minutes or less, just a power nap. Much longer will interrupt your sleep patterns and could create more stress in your life, but sometimes just a brief nap during the day will rejuvenate you, will help you feel refreshed.
Explore your emotions. Take some time to journal, to write down what you are feeling and why. What’s behind it? Explore your emotions. Keep a gratitude journal. Keep track of all the good things that happen every day, all of the blessings in your life.
Maybe you can take time to punch a pillow. Release some of that anger. Don’t let it just keep building up, adding fuel to the fire. Take some time to release it. Have a pillow fight, maybe even a water fight with your family, with your children. Take some time to do something active, to release some of that anger in a healthy way. Go outside and just yell all by yourself.
You could also read a novel. Even if it’s just five or ten minutes a day, take some time to escape into another world, another time and place. That can be very rejuvenating and very relaxing to escape into a novel. It’s also an excellent way to set a positive example for your children. Show them a positive way to relieve stress and relax.
Take up a new craft. Sometimes it’s relaxing to just sit down with some hand work—knitting, crocheting, embroidery work, or scrap booking–something that you enjoy doing. Keep all the supplies packed away nearby, easy and convenient to get out and put away again, but take a few minutes to do something that is enjoyable for you.
Another change of pace with your children, you can watch a funny show together. Laughter is a great stress reliever. Take time to just laugh, alone and with others. It’s a bonding experience. Sometimes it helps to watch a sad show by yourself or with some close friends. It can be a release to cry and let those emotions out.
You need to engage in adult conversation. This is critical. Take a few minutes to call a friend. Even if the only adult conversation you can engage in is on Facebook, that’s OK, too. There are many parent support groups on Facebook. Find one that matches your needs. If nothing else, you’ll connect with other adults who are going through similar challenges, and who understand your pain and can relate. They can also offer helpful advice.
If you enjoy music, play music in the home. If you play an instrument, take time to play it. Frequently, when we become parents, we give up those hobbies and activities that we enjoyed when we were single. And that’s a mistake. Maintain that talent. Take some time to sit down at the piano, if you play the piano. Or if you play an instrument, make sure you incorporate time to include that in your life.
Take a picture! Sometimes it’s fun. As parents, we’re always taking pictures of our children, but we can also take pictures of a beautiful sunset or flowers that are blooming in our yard. Take time to appreciate the beauty in your life. Take a picture of it and post it on Facebook or have it printed and keep it there in front of you to remind you of a happy thought or happy time.
Take some time to walk around the house. Move from one room to another. Take a break. Hold a child or a pet. That contact comfort can mean a lot; it can really enhance your life. Take some time to cuddle. Just touching something soft, holding a soft blanket or a pillow, or wearing a shirt that has a soft texture is rewarding to touch and to feel. Use your senses. Surround yourself with pleasant sounds, textures, and sights that you can refer to in a quick moment when you need to decompress. It can be valuable in helping you maintain your emotional balance, helping you better prepare for the challenges that come with parenthood, and they are great and many.
Like the admonition we’re given on the airplane, don’t try to put on anyone else’s oxygen mask until you have put on your own. You will be a better parent, a better employee, a better spouse, if you take time to take care of yourself. Charge your batteries. Then you can meet all of those demands of parenthood, even in the most challenging cases.
There are many parents of children with special needs. Children whose brains are not wired like everyone else’s and their parents may have to endure hours of a temper tantrum, unreasonable outbursts, unexpected behavior. They especially need our support and patience and encouragement that it’s not only okay for them to take some time to take care of themselves, it’s essential.
Care for yourself first and you will do a much better job of caring for other people. What have you found to be the best and most relaxing ways to take a break? Go to my website, insupportoffamilies.com, and leave a comment. Share with others. We’re all in this together and we can support each other. If you go to my website, insupportoffamilies.com, you’ll find other podcasts that will help parents. This is a challenging task. It takes a village to support the parents, so they can raise their children. This is Emmalou Penrod hoping you have a great day!