Are you career rich, time poor and ready to ask for help? Are you hiding parts of yourself and want to break free? Are you tired of being lonely and seeking your tribe? Laura Feltz, Results Coach and Designated Hypnotherapist, has a message for you. We talk about it in this episode of the series on coaches who specialize in serving women. Learn more about her on her website.
Emmalou Penrod
Welcome, this is our series on coaches who specialize in women. And today we’re talking to Laura Feltz, and she is a Results Coach and Designated Hypnotherapist. Laura, welcome.
Laura Feltz
Thank you so much for having me, Emmalou. I really appreciate it.
Emmalou Penrod
Now, I know there’s a story about how you became a Results Coach. I’m especially interested in this Designated Hypnotherapist.
Laura Feltz
Well, if you’d asked me five years ago, if I would be a hypnotherapist, I would have laughed at you and said, “You’re crazy.” So I’ve come a long way. So five years ago, I had just left a corporate career, where I spent about two decades in human resources. So I was a senior HR business partner for a large multinational organization that spanned the globe. And I had a global client group. So I was doing these video calls before they were in vogue. So I was on the phone and video calls with Asia early morning, later in the evening, and had a full North American workday schedule. I loved what I did. It was intellectually stimulating. I was developing talent and succession management strategies to align with the business strategy. And you know, it was really interesting, being involved with clients who were in different countries and different parts of economic growth. But I was working 60 to 80 hours a week, and I was running on all cylinders. And about 10 years ago, I was diagnosed with glaucoma. And glaucoma, for those of you who don’t know, is a condition where it’s pressure on the optic nerve and your optic nerve, if you think about it, it’s just like, your retina is like the television and the optic nerves are like the cords that plug into the wall and the wall is your brain, so to speak, or the electrical outlet is your brain. And what happens with the pressure on the optic nerve, they basically die off. So those connections die off and the picture becomes narrower. And, you know, glaucoma can be stable for many people for decades. And other people, it’s not for me, it was for a couple of years. And then I started really losing my eyesight. And doing this while navigating a very busy corporate career. And, you know, we’re going through some restructuring at that point as well. So leading my clients through that piece while I was navigating a blurrier, blurrier world each day, and not really knowing where to go for help. And so through the mask of perfection that I had on, and just really stepping back and saying, “Okay, like, this is not working for me at all. I’m really at a point where I need something different in my life, to support my health and wellness and my mental wellness as well.” I took the chance and stepped away from corporate. So I basically took a couple of years off to just recharge my battery after going flat out for so long. I just really needed to do that. And when I popped my head back up to say, “What do I really want to do with this next chapter of my life?” What kept coming back for me, the part that I really enjoyed, was working with women and coaching. And certainly the coaching that I did when I was in corporate was more advisory versus coaching. It just really kept landing for me. So I started investigating different coaching programs and came across NLP, which is neuro linguistic programming. I know it’s a mouthful. And essentially, it’s the language of performance. And how do you work with the unconscious mind to integrate change in your life because all learning behavior and change happens to our unconscious, and part of that designation was hypnotherapy. And it wasn’t actually until I was taking my trainers training and hypnotherapy, something told me keep going with this keep going, that the penny dropped for me and I really came to appreciate how powerful hypnosis is. I mean, it’s been around since the dawn of time. In ancient Egypt, people used to go to the sleep temples, which were basically they would go and get hypnotherapy for any ailments that they were feeling. If they’re feeling unwell, they would go and get hypnotized and come back out and it’s really just, if you think about hypnotherapy is your conscious mind being your goal setter and your unconscious being your goal. Better, it’s just ensuring alignment between the two. So it’s been a bit of a journey and I became a Designated Hypnotherapist and NLP trainer and Timeline Therapy Trainer and Master Practitioner. And I work with women primarily who are exhausted and bumping up against patterns that keep coming up in their life that are no longer serving them. So it may leave them exhausted, frustrated and feeling diminished. And I work with them to support them in really stepping fully into their voice, and embracing and discovering who they are, again, at their core, so that they have clarity moving forward. And this absolutely applies to women who are mothers, parents at this point, just because over the last year, we’ve had tremendous impact on parents through COVID and balancing online schooling with working from home or balancing family, as you have to be outside working on the front line, etc. And it’s really been a stressful year. So now more than ever, women need support.
Emmalou Penrod
I totally agree. If ever, there has been a time that the family has been in stress, it’s now, and especially women, mothers who are trying to juggle and make it all happen. I just want to comment, too. I love your description of hypnosis. I totally relate. If somebody had told me five years ago, I was going to be a consulting hypnotist, I would have laughed at them. Like, I had all the myths and misconceptions about hypnosis, you know, the villain in the movies, the hypnotist controlling everyone, and it’s all about learning to control your own mind, getting all parts on the same page. I love that. So you have found even with your fading eyesight, you have found your way to contribute. I love it.
Laura Feltz
Well, you know, I’m a product of the product because I actually use the tools and navigating my everyday life. So if I can indulge a little bit of a story. So there was one night a couple of years ago when I just finished my practitioner level designation. And I was on my way to another leadership course in Toronto. It was early spring. So in Toronto, you know, we are on the lake. So we have this lovely lake effect weather sometimes. And it was just dusk, and it was raining lightly. And it was heavy fog because of course in Canada, we still had snow and it was warmer. So you just have this fog. And I walked now with a long white cane. I walk fairly quickly with my cane. And I was walking close to Union Station, which is the commuter hub where people catch their train from the downtown core to go home. So they’re the fast commuter trains to go home. And it was rush hour. So there I was. It was foggy. It was drizzle. I already see like an out of focus picture. And you know it for me, it’s like figuring out what’s shadow and what’s actually a real walk, as I’m navigating. So I don’t see things properly. And so I could feel myself, as I kept stepping forward and stepping forward and these throngs of people crossing in front of me, you know, like they’re on the Olympic gold medal run for their train. And I think all commuters can relate to that. And I could just feel the fear going up the back of my spine, into my neck, the tightness in my stomach, because every step I was taking, I was getting more and more unsure of myself and just in navigating all of the sensory overload that I was experiencing. And it was like my feet were like lead. And I tapped into the tools that I knew in terms of refocusing my mind. I focused on my breath number one, and actually breathe, because fear is excitement without breath. So I did inhale for four, exhale for eight. I did that three times to just calm my nervous system down and really refocused my mind to take a step forward and tune into excitement. So as I was breathing tune into excitement and by the time I walked another block, I was actually fully excited. So that’s how quickly we are able to change our ourselves and our physiological state. It’s amazing.
Emmalou Penrod
That’s a beautiful example. And it really could be applied to any transition. Any new skill, anything you’re trying for the first time or that new challenge at work.
Laura Feltz
Yes, public speaking is the popular one that I work with my clients on as well. Probably their number one fear is speaking in public. It includes presenting in front of an executive team, whether it be on ZOOM or in person. So, yes, nerves can run really high at that point. So, you know, these tools are amazing for that.
Emmalou Penrod
And I liked what you said about drawing on your life experiences.
Laura Feltz
I definitely use the tools in my daily life as I navigate, and also in my professional life, as well. So I’m sure you every day do some self hypnosis for focus, productivity, or whatever is happening in your life. I mean, I really wish they would teach hypnosis in school to kids, because it’s really a How do you work your mind? We never get taught that. And, you know, tapping into the power of our mind for focused productivity. Oh, my goodness, can you imagine the difference in a classroom that that would make?
Emmalou Penrod
Oh, yeah, that would be huge. Yeah, I think most people are only aware of their conscious mind. And they don’t really give much thought that there’s this huge database that’s gathered information, everything that’s ever happened to them from when they were very small. And then that can be affecting them. That’s actually where habits are formed. And that can be affecting them. Do you work with clients one on one? Do you ever do any groups or classes?
Laura Feltz
Yeah, that’s a great question. So I do quite a bit of one on one work. And yes, through the pandemic, I’ve been able to transition virtually. And it’s been a very smooth process. I have clients actually, I’ve expanded globally. So I’ve clients in Asia now as well, which is fantastic. And I have done some group work as well. So I have done some group programs. And some give back last year through the pandemic, to the blind community where I was doing some group hypnosis for releasing anxiety, boosting resilience, boosting confidence. I recently have done work with the Fighting Blindness Canada, their Young Leaders Program, which is from 18 to 30 year olds, who are really focused on employment and skill building, I did a session with them around goal setting that goal setting from a mindset perspective versus just the tactical goal setting. So we set a goal, and then all of a sudden, we run into resistance. So how do you really leverage your mind to really overcome that? So yes, I do both pieces.
Emmalou Penrod
And having that NLP background. To me, that’s just like adding another tool to the toolbox. So you can, as you meet with a client, you’re just determining what will be most effective for them. And using those skills and tools you’ve learned to help them reach their goals.
Laura Feltz
Yes. Well, for me, NLP was a real game changer because I had looked at coaching probably about a dozen years ago, when I was still in corporate and I couldn’t make the connection with like ROI, return on investment. When someone invests in a coaching program, how do they measure that? And I didn’t really get a good answer at that point. So I was kind of like, you know, this is really intriguing as an area and growing profession. And it certainly evolved a lot over the last dozen years. And NLP, it’s really focused on results and evidence based. So I work with my clients on specific issues or challenges for a set period of time, typically three to four months on that engagement, where we really go in and, you know, the requisites for change are like releasing the blocks, which you talked about how we carry around these scenarios from our past. If we think of our mind, like our smartphone, our values, behaviors, and thoughts are like all in our unconscious mind and they’re the pages 2, 4, 5, 6, 7 of our smartphone, all of those apps that we don’t tap into very often, but they’re running in the background. They’re taking up energy and storage space, and we’re not aware of them. And they can be running our life. Because typically, those things were formed before the age of seven for us. We don’t even know that they’re there. And with NLP, we can make changes at the unconscious level, very, very quickly, and really focused on helping people move forward in actionable ways. So, so I started to talk about the three requisites for change. Number one, removing the blockages, number two, getting into action, massive action that aligns to the goal that you want. And you know, keeping that progress moving forwards. So you need to have that accountability for that. So being an action is huge. Yeah,
Emmalou Penrod
I totally agree. I like to explain to my clients, it’s like hiring a fitness trainer. They can give you the ideal diet, the workout, but you’re the one that’s going to have to do the work.
Laura Feltz
Yeah. And it’s also work outside of the sessions that we have. If you just work out with your trainer in the session, and then go home and have doughnuts, then don’t do any workout, you’re not going to get the progress that you want. You really need to be consistent with what you’re doing, and aligning your actions with what you really want. So focusing on what you want is key.
Emmalou Penrod
It is and you made a comment that coaching didn’t really click with you, until you found a way you could measure progress. Now that is a huge commitment to your client to know that you’re in it to see their progress.
Laura Feltz
Absolutely. Well, you know, it would be great to have conversations with people. However, I’m really about how is this making your life better and different. And especially for women, I am so passionate about working with women. It took me a bit to step into saying I work primarily with women coming from an HR background and wanting to be inclusive. And I really believe that when women decide, things get done. And it’s also not just for themselves, it impacts their family and communities more and more. So, you know, I was reading about that I just read recently, Melinda Gates’ book, The moment of lift, and she was talking about the Gates Foundation, and them focusing on female farmers and funding them. And she had resisted initially about being gender specific in that. But as they got the data, and found that when they invested in the women, it impacted the families in the communities more so. That really drove that decision. And I so believe that with women in general that we really bring the community forward, not to say that men don’t. It’s in a different way. So yeah, I really believe that for women, especially in putting themselves first and filling their cup up resourcing themselves, which can be super hard for women. I mean, I’m not a parent. And I know in working what I did in corporate, I have a dog, a furry friend. And I know when I was not present, she would act out. And it’s the same with kids. If we’re not present as parents. I watched my sister with her kids growing up, when we’re not present, or we’re distracted, kids know. And they will play up on that. So it just becomes harder and harder. So when we can resource ourselves, we just show up better, we’ve got more in our tank to give.
Emmalou Penrod
That is absolutely true. And it’s like when you board the airplane, you’re instructed to put your oxygen mask on first, then you can help someone else. And that’s so true in life. Women especially struggle with this. And commenting on what you said earlier, I also have read studies showing that women in executive positions are quite often more effective at just seeing things through, making sure it all gets done, being able to see the big picture. I’ve often heard the speculation, What if all of the nations of the world were led by women? It seems we could, let’s just sit down and work this one out. You know?
Laura Feltz
Yeah, well, you know what you have to look at some of the countries that are run by women and their pandemic response and how effective it’s been. And, you know, it really has been quite remarkable. So there’s many, many lessons to learn. So the one piece that I did want to jump in, so a client that I am working with, now, who’s in Asia. She actually took her first vacation in 10 years, recently with her family and, you know, set the boundaries up. It was a real exercise in her boundaries, asking for what she needed from her family, just you know, because she’s an executive to be able to just check in on a very short timeframe daily with her phone to make sure there was nothing pressing that she needed to deal with, managing her staff in terms of them dealing with what they needed to deal with, that she’s only available for emergencies. And, you know, the conversation we had when she got back on how refreshed she felt, and how liberating it was for her that actually, nothing fell apart while she was gone. And by delegating down it actually expanded her team. It was so beautiful, and it really just reinforced some of the other boundary work that we’re doing with her in holding those boundaries. And it’s, it’s really been a liberating process. So yeah, there’s lots of good to do.
Emmalou Penrod
Yes, it’s deciding that you’re worth it. That it’s the right thing to do. You can’t serve water from an empty container. Take care of yourself, you’ll be in a better position to help others at home and at work.
Laura Feltz
Yeah, and it’s scary as well, because change is uncomfortable. Nobody likes change, except a baby with a dirty diaper. I heard that saying once and I was like, “Oh, that is so true.” Because we are programmed, our unconscious mind is programmed for a negative bias. We’re trained to scan for the threats and change. And something new presents in our unconscious mind is a threat, you know, we’re always scanning for that Saber Toothed Tiger still. Our reptile brains have not evolved.
Emmalou Penrod
Programmed for survival. So anything that’s different from what we have done is seen as threatening. We just want to survive.
Laura Feltz
Exactly. And, you know, growth is being uncomfortable in different ways. So it may be being uncomfortable in a different way for a short period of time in order to move forward with what you want. So there are different ways that we can I work with clients, to have them feel some discomfort in different ways to really tune them in that it’s okay, and it’s not scary, and you’re safe. And keep going, moving forward. And focusing on what you want versus on what you don’t want.
Emmalou Penrod
Oh, that’s a huge focus on what you want. Look at the possibilities, not the threats, not the dangers, just look at what you can achieve. You know, for mothers just picture that someone’s holding your small child across this rickety bridge that you need to cross. You want what’s best for your children, and you want what’s best for yourself too. After all, those little ones will grow up in a few short years. You know, you have a life, of course, outside. Enrich your life with many facets.
Laura Feltz
Yeah, it’s very true. And the one piece that just comes to mind is, you know, we are always successful when there’s interdependence. A poverty mindset is vicious independence. So when we think we have to do it all alone, that really depletes us on so many levels. And I recently read Shonda Rhimes’ book a year ago. I don’t know if you’ve read that one. It’s a great read. And she talks about how women do a disservice to each other where we don’t talk about tapping into resources openly, that it does take a village and it does take, especially if you’re a working mom, having the support and the help. And we’ve seen that through the pandemic, when we had the stay at home order and women were trying to juggle online schooling with their busy jobs and everything in their home, where they didn’t have the support coming in and assisting, it just didn’t work. So being open with “Yeah, I’ve actually got help and support.” And, you know, we don’t even think a thing about hiring out some areas of our life. But others, we just kind of go, “Oh, wait, no.” And yes, if we talked about it more and talk with successful people and how they made it work. It’s about investing in different areas, and having a team that is your go to team for sure. So I think that’s one thing as women, we could really learn from each other on making it easier. And now we don’t have to do it all ourselves,
Emmalou Penrod
Something as simple as housework, maintaining the house. This is an excellent opportunity to teach your children some valuable life skills. Get them involved. It isn’t just your mess. Make sure you’re teaching them how to pick up after themselves, how to put that carton of milk back in the refrigerator.
Laura Feltz
Yeah,
Emmalou Penrod
And I love what you said, “We need a team.” And I think an effective family can be compared to an efficient team in the corporate world. There’s good communication there. Everyone’s clear on what the mission is. And they’re working together towards that success.
Laura Feltz
Yeah, it’s so so true. I mean, I remember when I was growing up, my mom got a part time job outside of the home. And she also had sold Avon. You know, my mum is quite entrepreneurial. And when she got her part time job outside of the home, my sister and I were responsible for ensuring that we started dinner. And it was on the table for mom and dad when they got home. And we were young, old enough to be left on her own. And she would plan what it was, and we would know, you’d have the instructions on how to make it. And it really helped us in terms of having that responsibility, setting the table, ensuring that dinner was ready for our parents so that we could sit down and eat, and the cleanup afterwards to help mom and dad with running the house. So yeah, at the time, we may not have enjoyed it as much but I’m very grateful now.
Emmalou Penrod
Yes, and that’s usually how it goes. So Laura, how do people contact you?
Laura Feltz
So people can reach out to me via my website at https://laurafeltz.com/ I do offer a 30 minute complimentary discovery call. So if there’s an issue or challenge that you’re faced with, you can come to that call, book it, and we can dig into what’s really going on. So what’s underneath that, and I can provide a couple of recommendations for you for free. And if the programs that I offer seem to be a good fit, then I’ll talk to you about the programs. If not, I’ve got a great network of other coaches who I tap into. The other way they can contact me is my email address. Laura@laurafeltz.com Thanks so much for the opportunity. It’s been such a pleasure.
Emmalou Penrod
Well, it’s been fascinating talking to you, Laura. I love what you’re doing, and you have a great day.
Laura Feltz
Thank you so much. Take good care.