The ultimate goal of a parent is to raise a child to be an independent and productive member of society. You are changing your role from complete care provider to cheer section with support upon request. You want to see your child succeed in setting attainable goals and reaching them. That is the result you want.
For parents of children with special needs, this can be a daunting task. Accomplishments which came so easily to their siblings can seem impossible. You may feel serious concern for their future well-being. In some cases, you will need to arrange guardianship for your child. It will be helpful for you to review Genevieve Gribble’s podcast here.
It takes a village to support parents in raising their child. There are many who have traveled the path you are on. Seek their advice and support. There are also many experts in their field who have studied best practice. Seek their help as well. Tuesday, November 20th I will be publishing an interview I had with Dr. Knight on specialized techniques he has found to be helpful for children with Autism. He spent years as a chiropractor in developing these techniques. In the past I have interviewed therapists who use neurofeedback and other specialized treatments with success. Your child’s teachers and support staff can be invaluable members of your team. There will be specialists among the school personnel. Learn all you can from them. Take time to get to know these people. Develop a rapport of mutual respect and trust. Be generous in expressing your appreciation for them.
It has been said that the parent of a child with special needs does more research than the FBI. It’s your drive to meet the needs of your child and prepare them for the brightest future possible. Make use of that drive. Create a team to support you and enlist as many members as possible. This will help you focus on the big picture, the long term goals. Your team will also support you when you are feeling alone and overwhelmed.
In the day to day struggles remember that your subconscious mind acts on any information it is given. If you live your life expecting the worst to happen, it will. You get what you focus on. For example, if you drive to a major city expecting that you will find no place to park, you will find no place to park. On the other hand, if you focus on finding a parking spot, you will. Every morning you have the power to decide what kind of a day you will have. It’s all about focus. When you are watching for negative events, you will find them. As you look for things to be grateful for, that is what you experience.
What are you expecting as you help your child get ready for school? Are you expecting them to resist and be late? Try an experiment. Begin by making sure everything is prepared the day before. Then, before you wake your child, change your mindset. Expect everything to go smoothly. Look for the progress your child is making in shortening preparation time in the morning. Look for everything that is going well. Sincerely expect to get your child to school on time, or at least in better time. You may find yourself thinking, “I knew it wouldn’t work.” If that happens, consider that you didn’t change your mindset. You weren’t expecting everything to go well. Focus on what you want.
I have provided two suggestions to help you get the results you want. Seek help from others, especially the experts, to form a team to support you in raising your child with special needs. Secondly, develop a positive attitude. Focus on what you want. Your subconscious mind is just following instructions. Be sure to provide positive instructions to get positive results. It’s the best way to get the results you want.