How can we improve our societies? By strengthening the foundation, families. In this episode, my husband of 48 years, David, and I talk about the many challenges families face today and how we can support them in our communities.
Emmalou Penrod
This is Emmalou Penrod.
David Penrod
I’m David Penrod.
Emmalou Penrod
And we’ve been married for 48 years. We raised seven children. They’re all successful adults, and now they’re busy raising 19 grandchildren. And we’re going to talk about something very dear to our hearts. And that’s families. Right now, I think families are under attack, and I’m concerned about it. I’m seeing they’re facing greater challenges now than I think they ever have before, even with the pandemic, I feel. My heart goes out to single parents who are doing double duty, being the provider and the nurturer. And then as a retired special ed teacher, I saw those families that struggled with providing for a child with special needs, often at much greater expense.
David Penrod
Some of those special needs can be very expensive, to get the right schools, the right tutors, the right equipment, the right understanding.
Emmalou Penrod
And I think that children today are bombarded far more by anything on the web.
David Penrod
And I’ve seen families where the whole family was together, apart. They were together physically, but they were all into their phones or other devices, and not paying any attention to the fact that anybody else was present.
Emmalou Penrod
And there are also the challenges when communication breaks down. I’ve worked with parents who felt that they had absolutely no control over what their teenager did. And they were scared, they were frightened. Then there’s money.
David Penrod
Money is a big issue that breaks up families all the time, marriages, arguments and disagreements on where do we get our money? And where do we spend it? And why don’t we have anything left at the end of the month.
Emmalou Penrod
That’s the challenge, right there is when you run out of money before you’ve run out of month. And there are certain principles about money and especially interest and managing money that are not really being taught, if you didn’t happen to learn it from your parents. If your parents struggled with money, quite often you repeat that cycle and you struggle with money too. It’s like trying to play a game when you don’t know the rules.
David Penrod
There’s a lot of people that have checking accounts, and they don’t have a clue how to balance their check to reconcile their statements with their checkbook. And I know most people are going away from checks and going to the plastic. And I think that that’s where they get into a lot more problem because they never learned how to balance and reconcile a checkbook. And with credit, it’s like magic money. Just stick this card in this slot, and everything’s paid for. There was not a thought as to how you’re going to pay them back.
Emmalou Penrod
And we have to admit, we’ve made some of these mistakes ourselves. We want to help people learn to overcome this. With all the challenges that families face. We need families. Society can’t replace them. Any successful society is based on healthy thriving families, because it’s in the home and with families where children are taught integrity, respect, tolerance, kindness, a desire to serve. If we want the situation to improve, we need to strengthen families. We need to, first of all I think, appreciate them. Have you noticed how much criticism parents can get sometimes when they take their child out in public to the store or a restaurant?
David Penrod
Oh yeah! Can’t those parents control that loud screaming brat!
Emmalou Penrod
And they can be criticized, in the same trip, they can be criticized for being too strict, too harsh, and also too lenient.
David Penrod
Yeah.
Emmalou Penrod
But you know, parents are actually serving our society. They’re raising the future generation. And anyone responds much, much more to appreciation than criticism.
David Penrod
Absolutely.
Emmalou Penrod
I think that, I love the way we recognize anyone in uniform, you know, veterans, we want to thank them for their service, I think it’s appropriate to do the same thing with parents. Show them some appreciation, some support, and reach out to them.
David Penrod
I’ve helped a few single parents in grocery stores and stuff, to kind of pull faces or make jokes or whatever to entertain their kid that was looking like he was about to lose it.
Emmalou Penrod
And just showing some kindness. But you know, a lot of parents today didn’t grow up in a happy home. And they may be struggling to know, they may want this for their children. But maybe they don’t know how to do it.
David Penrod
The good news is, wherever you are, doesn’t have to stay that way. It’s not like a rock that’s fixed, or cement that got cured in a shape you didn’t like. Every one of us can take and analyze where we are, think about where we want to be, and we can move toward that.
Emmalou Penrod
Exactly. It’s like generational poverty. Sometimes there becomes a history or cycle of neglect, or abuse or poverty. And it doesn’t have to be that way. Any individual can go through the process you just described, and break that cycle. It can be compared to moving to another country. You need to learn another language. You need to change old habits. You may need to change relationships, end some, form new ones. And you’re better off if you have a mentor, someone who is where you want to be, who can help you understand the language, understand the process.
David Penrod
It’s been said that you become like the five people close to you all the time. So if you’re not happy where you are, you want to better yourself, surround yourself with people that seem to be in the place you want to be.
Emmalou Penrod
And that’s our mission right there. We want to make the world a better place by strengthening families because they’re at the root. Let’s start there. So we offer a free webinar on How Money Works, Stop Being a Sucker every Wednesday evening 7pm Mountain Time. And you can contact us for the registration link for that.
David Penrod
There’s no charge. And this is good stuff. And I think everybody that I’ve talked to that has participated said they learned at least one or two good things out of that, even if they were well versed in money, but a lot of people found a lot they didn’t know.
Emmalou Penrod
And that makes the difference. Knowledge, education has the power to change lives. In addition to that we offer a Power Parent online class, and also a coaching program. You can go to our website, https://healingyourfamilies.com read about the services we offer. We also have some free resources. We have a book, Power Parents, and a pamphlet, Feeling Triggered? Change Your Response. You know, it really is true, that adage on the airplane about put your own oxygen mask on first. And parents need to do that. When you become a better person, you become a better parent. If you’re able to learn to manage your emotions, and overcome that old baggage that you may have picked up in your own childhood, those traditions you picked up that no longer serve you. Break the cycle. You can become the parent you want to be and have that family that is loving and fun. And there’s peace and effective communication. It’s very doable.
David Penrod
It all starts with intention, too.
Emmalou Penrod
Yes.
David Penrod
So if I’ve had a really rough day at work, before I get home, if I think about it, I can come home with the intention that I’m going to enjoy my family. And we’re going to have some fun together or have something fun to do, some learning experiences and, and uplift and benefit one another. If, on the other hand, I just come straight home from work with the bad attitude and the stress of the day, I’m likely to do something that I will regret later.
Emmalou Penrod
It’s mindset. We talk about that a lot in our coaching program. We individualize it to meet the needs of each family. And we feel strongly that this is one way we can make the world a better place, help our communities and also encourage each other to be kind.
David Penrod
Kindness is very important.
Emmalou Penrod
You know, older parents, we are empty nesters now, can be mentors to younger parents. Someone who has a 12 year old can really benefit from advice from someone with adult children to navigate those teenage years.
David Penrod
And kids can be encouraged to spend some time with an older person, either grandparent or just an older neighbor or something. Sometimes they can learn an awful lot by serving them.
Emmalou Penrod
Our vision is to help create this society where parents are supported and able to teach those values to their children to be the kind of parents they want to be to teach their children to believe in themselves, to have dreams and goals, to give back and serve the community. And when that happens, the whole energy of the society rises. We have less civil unrest, more tolerance, greater love and acceptance and greater productivity.
David Penrod
And it’s great when parents can recognize that and give the positive feedback and hope and assurance to their kids that, “You’re smart. You can do it. You’re capable.” Rather than, “You’re dumb, you’re stupid. You’ll never amount to anything.”
Emmalou Penrod
And that’s hard for parents to do if they don’t believe in themselves.
David Penrod
Yes, I have to believe that I am capable.
Emmalou Penrod
So please go to our website, https://healingyourfamilies.com download the freebies, check out our other podcast episodes. We’ve had the opportunity to interview some really amazing people with excellent advice for parents. And that’s the whole purpose of our podcast is to provide useful information to parents.
David Penrod
And come back often. We’re constantly adding new material.
Emmalou Penrod
And let’s do it together. Let’s make the world a better place by strengthening families one at a time. Start with your own.
David Penrod
And tell yourself every day, “I am enough. I’m sufficient and I can do it.”
Emmalou Penrod
Have a great day.