The proverb “It takes a village to raise a child.” has been used frequently, especially since Jane Cowen-Fletcher published her book It Takes a Village in 1994 and Hillary Rodham Clinton published It Takes a Village: And Other Lessons Children Teach Us in 1996. It’s origination is attributed to the African culture and can also be translated as “A child does not grow up in a single home.” or “A child belongs not to one parent or home.” It can be interpreted, and most often is, that the ideal childhood includes as many caring adults interacting with a child and serving as a positive role model as possible.
This is certainly true. A child’s life can only be enriched by positive, loving interactions with the people in their world. I still remember a kindly neighbor who would place rock candy in his yard and invite us over to “find” it. We knew he and his wife cared about the children in the neighborhood and it was always fun to go visit them. I can also remember a third grade teacher, Mrs. Skeen. I had frequently been reprimanded in school because sitting still was difficult for me. I didn’t always understand the rules or find it easy to follow them. I was more accustomed to having teachers scold me. Mrs. Skeen was patient and seemed to understand and accept me. I was determined to do my best in her class.
Every adult has the opportunity to nurture any time they interact with a child, no matter how briefly. Children may make up a fraction of our total population, but they are 100% of our future. Whether you are a parent or not, you can contribute to a more positive future. One of my friend’s told of shopping in a craft store and observing a tired, cranky 3 or 4 year old boy who kept trying to convince his mother it was time to go home. When he was sitting dejectedly on the floor, she made eye contact with him, smiled and pulled a funny face that made him laugh. It was a simple thing, but it made a difference.
While the nurturing can be shared, the responsibility cannot. Parents remain responsible for the care and education of their children. Extended family members, neighbors, educators and other professionals can support and encourage parents, but not replace them unless the child’s safety is at risk. It would be more accurate to say that it takes a village to support the parents so they can raise their children.
If you are a parent, expect to accept support from others in raising your children, but do not relinquish your responsibility. If you work with children–and all of us encounter children in public–find ways to be supportive. Compliment parents on their children. Be patient with little ones. Children are our future. Let’s treat them with love, kindness and respect to make it a brighter future.