This is the first episode of our series, Coaches for Women. Stefanie Thayers is dedicated to helping women improve their health beginning with their mindset.
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Emmalou Penrod
Thank you for joining us. This month, we’re going to be talking about coaches who have a special focus for women just to support women. I think that’s really important. So today, I’m interviewing Stefanie Thayer. And she is a certified health coach. Stephanie, welcome.
Stefanie Thayer
Thank you so much, Emmalou. I really appreciate you having me here today. And as a woman, I’m passionate about helping other women.
Emmalou Penrod
Yes, I love that. So how did you become a health coach?
Stefanie Thayer
By accident? A lot of people say what is a health coach? I guess that could be a lot of different things, depending on who you are. I have always been passionate about health and working out. It just makes me a nice person to work out. I have a lot of energy naturally. And I found myself close to 40 and gaining weight and not understanding why when I was spending so much time meal prepping in the kitchen, and working out. And you know, most women, we wear a lot of hats, I was doing all of these things. And not really taking care of myself, but taking care of everybody else. And so I kind of threw my hands up in the air. And I called my girlfriend who, for years had been putting these weird before and after pictures up on social media, and I couldn’t figure out what she was doing. And I just said, “I’m at my wit’s end. I don’t feel good. I am lethargic. I’m not sleeping well. And I don’t have time, just help me, whatever it is just help me.” And I completely thought I was signing up for a diet. And I did lose weight really quick. But what I recognized, fairly within the first week, was my mindset. I’m really hard on myself. And I noticed now with all the women that I have coached, we tend to be really hard on ourselves. You would never say to your best friend or your spouse or your children, the broken record that you say to yourself.
Emmalou Penrod
Oh, I agree with that. That is so true.
Stefanie Thayer
Yes. So I realized, okay, there’s more going on here. So my health isn’t just my movement, or what I’m eating. And I had, like, I don’t know, the second week, I had a couple girlfriends say, “What are you doing?” I’m like, I don’t know what I’m doing. They said, “Why don’t you help coach?” I said, “Okay,” and it just helped me stay accountable to my own journey. And then I watched them get healthier. I had no idea what I was doing. Well, almost two and a half years later, I have I lost my weight, it was only about 20 pounds. But I’ve maintained it. But what I recognized was that my health was about all these other things. Was I having fun? How are my relationships? How is my spiritual life? How was my mindset, and I became licensed as a health coach. So I’m a certified health coach, I’ve helped over 1000 people now. And my real passion for women is that they recognize that they have very special gifts and uniqueness that no one else has. And often our level of health is connected with the lies that we’ve told ourselves. I don’t know if that makes sense to you.
Emmalou Penrod
It does. It does. And I may just make a few comments. First of all, I love that you started with yourself. That is key. We really can’t help anyone unless we start with ourselves, get ourselves right. I love what you said about mindset. And it is more than just how much you weigh, or your physical health even. It’s the whole person. And again, it starts with what you tell yourself, what you believe about yourself. You have several absolutely golden gems here for women, understand how to improve their lives. I love it. Tell us more.
Stefanie Thayer
Well, and you can see that you, anybody listening or watching, you can probably think of a couple areas that you’re really good at in life. And then you could probably think of one or two where you’re an absolute hot mess. And you’re probably ignoring those areas, right? It’s very interconnected. So you can do any miracle food or exercise or 75 hard or there’s all these things out there. But are they sustainable, right? It’s like a band aid until you start looking at the whole person. And we recognize, “Oh, that connects to that.” None of it is going to last. And so my goal for people is that yes, we can get you good lab results. You have the waist size that you want. But more than that, that you understand how your body works and how to maintain health throughout your life. You know, people want a magic pill. I want the magic pill. I don’t think there is one. And it really is a process, right? We always have something new to work on. And that’s not just specific to health, right? It’s who we are. And one thing that I think would be really helpful, especially for this audience, you know, a lot of women, we wear multiple hats, especially if you’re a mom. You probably have put yourself last. Time is your most valuable asset. A lot of times people think it’s money, but it’s really time. This gives you so much time freedom. The program that I use sends the nutrition right to your door. And it’s a means to an end, because eventually we move you off of that. But I didn’t recognize how much time I would save because I used to spend all day Sunday meal prepping for our family. I didn’t have to do that anymore. And so, to be able to take that back and read a book, or go out to the park with your family or whatever the thing is that you want to do is amazing. And that was a benefit that I didn’t expect. Right? My guess is your audience is strapped for time.
Emmalou Penrod
I’m sure. I’m sure. And I love that idea of, I think every day you should do something that rejuvenates you, something that brings you fulfillment. And rather than getting caught up in those mundane but yet necessary tasks. And also, you said something valuable about a program that is sustainable. I myself have experienced a lot of, I think what they call yo-yo diets, where you lose the weight, and you gain it back. And long term I understand that is actually much more harmful.
Stefanie Thayer
Yes, yeah, 95% of the time, if you do a diet, you will actually gain it all back and more because what happens is, let’s say, I’m sorry, I’m gonna pick on cabbage soup diet. My mom did that when I was a kid. It’s delicious. Okay, she was gonna eat cabbage soup every day all day. I mean, that sounds a little bit boring after a while. Okay, great. The second you stop it, you go back to everything you used to do. Well, how do you expect a different result? Right? So yes, we have nutrition, but I go through 26 habits. The first one is mindset, right? Why? Why are you where you? Are you challenging the process? Are you playing the victim, villain, or the hero? How’s your hydration? How’s your movement? What’s a better vegetable than another? You know, there’s just a ton of stuff that we go through. So as you’re getting healthier, you get this skill set. But I honestly think the reason that I have such a high success rate with folks, is because we have a community. And, especially women, we don’t want to do life alone. We do not. And so health is very personal. We don’t usually say, “Hey, I feel like garbage.” or, “You know, I wish I could fit in my favorite shirt.” But when you have a safe place that people are sharing struggles and successes, and I had one client, I don’t know if I should even share this. I will. I don’t have to say it, but it’s all confidential. But, she was going to the bathroom at her office. So this was before COVID. And she sat down and her wedding ring fell off her finger, because she had lost so much weight. And so she’s telling this story in that community and saying, “I mean, it was the best problem because my ring fell off. But it was the worst problem because now my wedding ring is two stalls down. And how do I get my wedding ring while I’m sitting on the toilet?” So those are kind of the funny, you know, just for people to go, “Yay, that’s the best non skilled victory you know that, that you now don’t have this swelling in your hands.” So people share silly things like that, or, you know, it’s the weekend, struggling, whatever, it’s real life.
Emmalou Penrod
It’s celebrating together. And I want to go back to what you were saying about mindset. I believe that first you need to love yourself. I think if you don’t love yourself, if you think poorly of yourself, you may be holding this idea that you deserve to be unattractive. You don’t deserve to be healthy and slender.
Stefanie Thayer
Yes, and somewhere you probably were told that, maybe indirect terms or not direct terms. One of my favorite things to recommend to people, and this is completely free, Google affirmations, something like that. I have little cards. They’re in every mirror in our house and I actually have teenage sons that are still at home. I have older children as well, and I have them for them. “I am amazing. I am helpful to other people. I am capable.” And I know it sounds so cheesy. But after you do it for a little bit, you know, think how long you’ve told yourself really lies that aren’t true about how you’re not worthy, and start to change that. And that’s my favorite thing. You know, our business is called Live Your Life Out Loud. There’s a reason for that. You have very unique gifts and talents that no one else has. And if you are willing to embrace that, you’re going to take those talents and really bless someone else. You don’t know what people are going through. And so if we stay in this broken place, where our mind is beating us up, we can barely get out of bed. Right?
Emmalou Penrod
Yeah. Oh, yeah, we’re in no position. You can’t draw from an empty bucket. We’re in no position to give and serve others.
Stefanie Thayer
Yeah, and I don’t know if you hear this overwhelming, but the number one thing that I hear is anxiety. And through the COVID, stay home, it was even worse. But I think some of that for us women is we don’t feel worthy. And we are overburdened, you know, there’s like, they always joke keeping up with the Joneses. I don’t know a single woman that can do all of those things. And if you’ve met her, let me know who she is. I’m very transparent. I am a lot of fun. I’m a very successful business person. I’m very active in the community. I am horrible at keeping a clean house. Like if you haven’t noticed, this is a virtual background. If you want to see a show home or to host you and make a beautiful spread, I’m not good at that. Right? But it’s okay. If I acknowledge that and say, well, that’s not my gift. But I have a sweet girlfriend that has that gift, and she’ll come over and help me right.
Emmalou Penrod
That’s what friends are for.
Stefanie Thayer
Right? Right. And you need friends that aren’t just like you because I will call a friend and say, can you make my front porch cute, because I’m horrible interior design, right? And it’s okay.
Emmalou Penrod
And she can call on you and say, I need some ideas to eat healthier.
Stefanie Thayer
Yeah, I’ll come help her meal prep in her kitchen. Right? So I think that’s the beauty of it, too, is to realize that you don’t have to have it all figured out. Maybe you need to know where to go get the answers. And that’s some of what I help with. But we are not meant to do life alone.
Emmalou Penrod
Don’t you think too, that we’re much happier when we’re being ourselves than trying to measure up to what people expect of us?
Stefanie Thayer
Yes. And if you’re being who you think other people want you to be, that’s exhausting. And you can only keep that up so long. And that will cause depression too. So it’s okay to be your own you. I don’t want to be like my neighbor. I want to be my own person. You should want that too. And I think that’s a hard, I think that’s a hard thing. I think a lot of women, we tend to live in the shadow of someone else. And we need to realize that maybe we can walk beside other people, that we don’t have to be behind them, right? But that takes time.
Emmalou Penrod
It does. It does. So it sounds like you have a well rounded program that will help, not just losing weight, but in all areas of life, you know, physically, emotionally, and in relationships. You know, when you become a better person, you become a better parent, a better mother.
Stefanie Thayer
For all of it, you become better. Yes. And I, you know, the average client I work with is about six months or less. And the good news is that they always have our community and our habits. We do zoom calls every week that train people. I mean we have an abundance of resources available and that never goes away. And the other beauty of this program is, if you can afford groceries, you can afford this program. So you know a budget, the B word I love and hate it, is very important. And so some things out there are so expensive that you can’t, you know being healthy is, healthier food is more expensive, right than junk food. Yeah. And so one of my other goals for people is not to break the bank because once again, your kids need a, you know, a soccer uniform and whatever. A lot of your money goes out to things that are not for you.
Emmalou Penrod
And I think you also have to consider, I consider that money spent in preventive care is money I’m saving for health care.
Stefanie Thayer
Yeah, absolutely. Yeah.
Emmalou Penrod
Why not put the money where it matters most. Now it sounds like so the six months they’re developing those patterns, those habits, learning those skills, and then they’re able to do them on their own, with support from the group.
Stefanie Thayer
Yes, and it can be even less time, it just depends on the person. I did it about two and a half months. And then I just started coaching by accident, but it makes me more accountable to my health because I have to remind people what they need to be doing. And you know, I always give a free health assessment because we are all different. One size does not fit all. If you are on medications, I happen to be married to a general surgeon, so he helps me with that. We have full nutrition support in our program. But if you’re a senior citizen, if you’re a diabetic, if you’re a teenager, if you’re breastfeeding, there are different requirements. And so that’s another thing I love about what I do is it’s not one size fits all, you know, your besties cousin’s girlfriend tells you to try this thing, because it’s the miracle. And it works for them and not for you, right? There’s a reason we’re all different.
Emmalou Penrod
Yeah, I don’t know how many times I’ve heard that. Somebody saying, “This works miracles for me. This is a must have.” And you have to remember, physical differences.
Stefanie Thayer
Yeah, well, and then check in with them six months or a year later or five years later, have they kept it off? Have they kept the good lab results? Are those medications gone? Because that’s really the indication not that you can have a temporary change. I don’t, I don’t want to help people that want a temporary change. Because there’s work involved.
Emmalou Penrod
There’s work involved, and you’re going for that lifestyle change, that change they can make. So they’ve just made a shift, but they can continue on with their life doing the things they love and enjoy. But with healthier habits in place and enjoying a healthier lifestyle and all areas.
Stefanie Thayer
Yeah, yeah, exactly. Exactly.
Emmalou Penrod
It’s great. So do you have any little tips or tricks that somebody can do right today, and it would make a difference?
Stefanie Thayer
Yeah, so the best health habit that you can give yourself is water. Water, it’s completely free. If you hate water, let’s say you drink three glasses of water a day. This whole week, make it four glasses each day. Next week, make it five, you want to work yourself up to eight glasses. bubbly water counts. If you have your water flavored with electrolytes or something, that counts. If it’s caffeinated, it does not count that actually dehydrates you. And your brain is about I think it’s 75% water. Your lungs are about 80% water. Your body overall is between 60 and 65%. Men have more water than women. How well do you think you’re gonna think in your day or move in your day, if you’re dehydrated? Also, when you’re dehydrated, sometimes your body thinks you’re hungry when you’re actually thirsty. So it’s the same kind of trigger. So you don’t know, right? That if you can’t do that, I don’t want you to do anything else. Most people make 20 things they’re going to do for their health and they do one and a half and then they quit. Do that. You have to do that for two weeks. Be consistent with your water for two weeks. And if you can do that, we can talk about other stuff.
Emmalou Penrod
Yes, I love that. And a lot of times so if you are feeling hungry, and it’s not meal time drink water. And like you said, quite often, that’s all you needed.
Stefanie Thayer
Yeah, and I know this is gonna sound silly, but it’s so true, be intentional, when you eat. All of us, you know, eat in front of the TV or the computer or whatever. We’re not paying attention to what we’re eating. If you actually chew and enjoy your food and eat slower. First of all, it’s easier for your body to digest. But second of all, it takes 20 minutes for your stomach to tell your brain that you’re no longer hungry. So a lot of times people over eat simply for that reason. And so I have a relative that eats so, so fast. And then a little bit later, he feels horrible, because he couldn’t gauge how much he actually needed, right. And so if you’re good at water already, my next recommendation would be eat every two to three hours, a little bit throughout your day. Your blood sugar is very consistent and your metabolism is very consistent. That’s counterintuitive to our society. Most people will have coffee, coffee, and a huge dinner. That’s what I hear the most. Oh, right. Right. I know. So those are my, those are my easy tips and those things are free. Those aren’t you know, those are things you can do on your own right now.
Emmalou Penrod
Okay, I love it. I love it and how do people contact you and work with you?
Stefanie Thayer
Yeah, the best way is probably on social media. I am on Instagram and Facebook as Wellness with Stef. My name is spelled STEF. I’m also on LinkedIn as Stefanie Thayer. And I love to help people, I would love to just be a resource to you and even guide you. Even if you don’t decide to work with me, I want you healthy more than I need you as a client. That’s really important to me. 78% of the country is overweight. We are hurting ourselves probably not on purpose. And so my heart for you is that you have a better quality of life.
Emmalou Penrod
So you’re on a mission to make the world healthier, one individual at a time.
Stefanie Thayer
Yeah. Just to make them the best version of themselves. Because that weight, that pain, that medicine is just holding them back from being who they are, right?
Emmalou Penrod
Shortening their life.
Stefanie Thayer
Yes, it’s, I guess one person at a time. Let’s do it.
Emmalou Penrod
All right. I like it. Stefanie, thank you so much.
Stefanie Thayer
Yeah, appreciate. Thank you for having me on here. I really appreciate it.
Emmalou Penrod
And you have a great day.
Stefanie Thayer
Okay, thanks so much.